I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks Chords

Artist: Bloodhound Gang
Song: I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks( Album one fierce beer coaster)
Tabbed by: John Leadman
 
 
   Pretty funny song! All just basic power chords. Play the verses
   palm-muted and use only downstrokes. Strum the chorus normally.
   That's all you need to know. Enjoy!
 
   CHORDS:
 
 
   Bb5 (x13xxx)    E5  (x79xxx)
   A5  (x02xxx)    Eb5 (x68xxx)
   B5  (x24xxx)    C#5 (x46xxx)
 
   INTRO:
 
   [spoken:]
   If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter
 
 
   VERSE 1:
 
   Bb5 A5               B5                       C#5             E5 B5
        My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class
 
   A5                          B5                          C#5
   Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass
 
   B5  A5                     B5                        E5
         I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too
 
                 Eb5  C#5            A5
   Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?
 
                     B5 [stop]
   I just wish I was queer so I could get
 
 
   CHORUS:
 
   E5
   Chicks dig guys that are
 
   B5
   Queer guys that don't dig
 
   E5                              B5
   Chicks that don't dig guys like me
 
                               A5
   See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
 
 
   VERSE 2:
 
   A5            B5                        C#5                E5 B5
   But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be
 
       A5                            B5                              C#5
   Incognito as a gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony
 
   B5  A5                         B5                   E5
       Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity
 
                  Eb5  C#5                    A5
   But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry
 
                  B5                   C#5
   Scoring with a super model would be easy
 
 
   VERSE 3:
 
                A5                          B5
   Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but also is synonomous with
 
     C#5          E5 B5
    'super dumb'
 
              A5                          B5
   Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and
   C#5               B5
   soon I'd become
 
   A5                          B5                                      E5
      That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair
 
                  Eb5  C#5                         A5
   No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear
 
                B5 [stop]
   I wish I was queer so I could get
 
 
   CHORUS:
 
   E5
   Chicks dig guys that are
 
   B5
   Queer guys that don't dig
 
   E5                              B5
   Chicks that don't dig guys like me
 
                               A5
   See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
 
 
   VERSE 4: [play like Verse 3]
 
   Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes
   The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean
   See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline
   No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen
   I wish I was queer so I could get
 
 
   BRIDGE:
 
   E5        C#5         C#5 B5 A5       Bb5 B5       B5 A5 C#5 Eb5
   Chicks
   E5        C#5         C#5 B5 A5       Bb5 B5       B5 A5 C#5 Eb5
 
 
   VERSE 5: [play like Verse 3]
 
   Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis
   Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp
   he talks like this
   And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway
   And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet
   I wish I was queer so I could get
 
 
   OUTRO:
 
   C#5
   Chicks dig guys that are
 
   B5
   Queer guys that don't dig
 
   C#5
   Chicks dig guys that are
 
   E5         B5
   Queer guys that don't dig
 
   C#5
   Chicks dig guys that are
 
   B5
   Queer guys that don't dig
 
   C#5                             E5
   Chicks that don't dig guys like me
 
               B5              C#5
   See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
 
         B5
   And I don't shave my heiny
 
   C#5
   Don't shave my heiny
 
   E5            B5              C#5
     See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
 
         B5
   And I don't shave my heiny
 
   C#5
   Don't shave my heiny
 
   E5            B5              C#5
     See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
 
         B5
   And I don't shave my heiny
 
   C#5
   Don't shave my heiny
 
   E5            B5             C#5
     See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
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